The Beauty of Pain

26th January, 2009 – worst day of my life and now every year after that I am reminded of that painful time in my life, when a part of me was gone, forever.
Why God let’s us suffer such emotional turmoil such as the death of a beloved is something I never had to try understand until it happened to me. But as time has gone by and as I have grown stronger and nursed my deep wounds, I have come to understand the beauty of pain…
When you take your first baby steps and topple over on the cold hard floor, pain is felt. But when you try and try again and develop a walk so graceful, beauty is shown.
When you get your first pair of braces and the monthly check-ups prove to be excruciating, pain is felt. But when you finally grow out of them and show that 100 watt incandescent smile, beauty is shown.
When you get your first period and the the cramps take over your life once a month EVERY month, pain is felt. But as you grow out of adolescence and mature because of this aspect of womanhood, beauty is shown.
When you get your first heartbreak, from the one you thought was THE ONE, ladies I know… Pain is felt. But when you finally realize that it is you that is THE ONE, and never look back, beauty is shown.
When you are trying to find yourself in the real world, sometimes emotions overwhelm you and cause you to dropout, wish you were dead and what have you, deep pain is felt. But when you take a step back, review your mistakes and start rebuilding your life piece by piece, beauty is shown.
When you suffer the greatest pain you never thought you would have to face in your life, death; pain is felt. Every freaking day. Reminders of that special person fill your mind, the crying never stops, the depression never ceases, the anger and disappointment can be overwhelming. Pain is LITERALLY felt. But when you start accepting the truth, embracing your life even more in his/her honor, and learn to let go and let God, beauty is clearly shown. From the radiant smile that starts to make a permanent stay on your face, to the final defeat of the depression that has been trying to kill you, beauty is shown. From the joy you get from seeing his/her pictures instead of the waterfall of tears that used to ensue as if on queue, to the nostalgia you feel when you remember him/her, beauty is shown.
Pain can symbolize a lot of things but I think the one thing it has hidden within it is beauty. Like the sun after the rain, beauty always comes after the pain.
That is the beauty of pain… I love you and miss you so much Dani, but I know I have to overcome the pain and let the beauty show, beauty as radiant as what you emanated all your life, R.I.P.

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