Finding Myself

If this was my tumblr page (which I have since taken down due to some unavoidable circumstances), the soundtrack to this post would be Nicki Minaj and Bey’s Feeling Myself – that song is my anthem! Love love it.

Okay enough with the digressing… I have been super MIA on this blog and I don’t even know how to explain my silence or why I have been this unproductive. All I can say is I had lost my spark. My last post was done in my last week of employment and you would think not having a job all this time would give me more time to blog and finally complete redesigning it as well. I think I’m going to leave it as is for now… I like the simplicity of it, I was trying to do too much and it wasn’t working so wrytersden remains as is until I find the theme and design that I feel fits it perfectly.

Since quitting my job about 4 months ago, quite a lot has happened. To summarize – I broke my leg in a very random accident that I still don’t understand to this day lol.. Fully recovered now though, don’t worry:) I also did some traveling, yes while still on crutches lol.. Went to Rwanda and took a short trip down to the coast as well, all the while preparing for school in the UK in the fall and those trips I think were presented to me at a very opportune time as I really needed some time out from Nairobi. The absolute worst thing that did happen in this short time was the sudden loss of a dear friend – and I do not mean by death no… just a lot of complications led to the unfortunate end of our friendship together and it took a lot out of me because this is someone I have known and loved almost my entire life. Felt like I had lost my sister and to this day it still doesn’t register well in my mind.

When all that drama happened, whilst still on bed rest with a broken leg, it made me really re-evaluate everyone in my life and everything. It was a serious wake up call in the way I treated myself as opposed to how I treated others. Sigh… being an adult sucks sometimes. I don’t know how else I can describe it except in that way.

That aside, I have gained a new respect for my level of patience and how much craziness I can tolerate. I may be the most calm person I know, aside from my mother of course. I guess I get it from her. I also have so much respect for the few friends I have left in my life. They did not have to support me or defend me or stand in my honor in anyway as all that happened was entirely between myself and her but they did and their concern and constant support was all that was keeping me from breaking down every single day. It is hard to find loyal people in this day and age and without my small circle of friends, I think my spirit would be broken forever. Thank you to all of you for being the amazing beings you are.

I have also realized my threshold for pain is quite the one… when you break a leg to such extremes of your bone piercing your skin and leaving a bullet sized hole, and dislocating your shoulder at the same time… yeah, way too much pain to experience at once but somehow, I look back now and just chuckle… I have ridiculously weak bones which I am now working on making stronger everyday with a certain amount of calcium intake.

4 months… whirlwind of emotions in all areas of my life. I have one month left before heading off to gradschool and I am going with a whole different mindset than I had 4 months ago. I want to go study and study hard. I have been giving too much of myself to everyone except myself. It is now time I do something for me and be selfish for the first time in my life. A very necessary step I should have taken so many years ago but it’s better late than never.

There is so much more I wanna write on here… but I think this shall do for now as I have months of content to back up, so many reviews to write and travel stories to tell. Life posts like these shall come once in a blue moon as I keep growing and learning and embracing every facet of me.

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