‘No one warns you about the amount of mourning in growth.’ – Tev Smith
I had this quote saved from a post I saw in 2015 on Instagram. I came across it yesterday morning and it brought back so much in a span of a few minutes. It’s 2017 and I’m still here. Still breathing. Still smiling. Still me. Interesting how fast time flies when you are busy growing and discovering yourself.
Growth – noun: the process of developing or maturing physically, mentally or spiritually.
No one really does warn you just how difficult growth can be. It’s hard to keep up and stay on track. This wasn’t a planned post for this week, but for some weird reason, this topic has been stuck in my mind for a while and reading that quote again was the universe telling me – scrap whatever review you wanted to write and lets discuss this instead.
For those in your late 20s like myself, how has the growth process been for you? Hard, easy, manageable? For those in their mid 20s… same question. For those in their early 20s – how is the process now as it begins?
I can’t speak for everyone but I can talk of my own experiences and those I have been privy to be a part of or observed. Growth is a hellish rollercoaster. One that simply refuses to pause and give us a 5 minute break, one that won’t stop no matter what. Growth is also a most beautiful thing. It blossoms and blooms like a flower on a crisp spring morning. It opens you up and exposes you to all the opportunities and possibilities life has to offer. Growth is inevitable. Growth is necessary.
Growth has taught me many lessons, but I’ll summarize some below:
1. People change on you – COMPLETELY. And there is really nothing you can do about it because it is what it is. My friends say I have an uncanny habit of always looking for the good in people and in the past 2 years, as much as I’ve kept to that – I’ve been hit with some hardballs straight in the face. I’m not sure if it’s just a phase we are in or this is the real image of people that I never saw before but I’ve had to painfully accept and restructure the position of certain people in my life. These are people I still love and will always care for but I have had to stop putting in so much effort where none is returned. Cutting off people is not something I do lightly and takes a lot for me to decide to be done with you so that list is very short. It’s just sad that there’s a list at all. People may change on you but you also change on people as well. Growth shows you who you truly are and who is worth your energy, your time and who isn’t. Growth tests your limits and you get to see just how much you are willing to take and deal with and how much you are not. My tolerance level has since decreased in the past year and I’m very grateful for that. Less stress means more peace and happiness and who wouldn’t want that?
2. Persistence is key – A very major key. I wouldn’t have achieved most of what I have if I had not persisted and pushed for it completely. As you grow, you learn that there’s really nothing you cannot do. If you simply decide and apply yourself – it can be done. There’s less fear of risk as you grow because you look back and say ‘If I could get through that, if I could do that, what do I have to lose in doing this or trying that?’ Nothing at all.
3. Always keep an open mind – this has been particularly hard for me because I’m not the most open minded person out here… but I’ve definitely gotten much better than I was even a year ago. An open mind opens your eyes to more opportunities, more people and more possibilities. Growth allows you to see things from a different perspective every single time. Give people the benefit of a doubt, they may just surprise you.
4. Let shit go – for lack of a better word. I think God really wanted this driven into my head this year because the numerous scenarios presented to me… damn. I’m that person who holds on to a lot, I overthink everything, analyze every last thing and just drive myself crazy when things don’t go as planned or as they supposedly should. Don’t do it kids, it’s the worst. Sometimes just letting things go is a better decision than trying to fix every little thing or solving all the world’s problems (which I can’t). Some burdens aren’t worth carrying. Life is hard enough as it is, taking on something that will not benefit you in anyway and won’t bring any value to your life – not worth your peace of mind, let it go and let God take care of it.
5. Self-love and self-care – Paramount in any person’s life. Society has people killing themselves just to be this, that or the other yet loving yourself, accepting yourself, taking great care of yourself is a much better alternative. I find myself seeking inner peace, happiness, and all round fulfillment from within – yet before, I would seek it from others and that brought me depression, anxiety and all the negative energy that I simply could not handle. The self love journey I started way back when has been a great one and it remains ongoing. Growth taught me to love myself before anyone else. Something that still isn’t easy for me to do and I’m sure for others as well but with time, you start seeing how beneficial it is and it becomes a priority in your life. As you love yourself so do you start to love others the same way and even better.
So in as much as there is mourning in growth, there is a lot to celebrate as well – look at the positives, forgive yourself for the negatives and pray for continuous, fulfilling growth. This was really quite a random post but somehow I feel so much better having written all that down.
Have a great rest of the week:)
Feature image – pixabay