emotions

Taking Stock

I really need to stop taking such long blog hiatuses..(sp)? lol..

I won’t get into the roller-coaster that has been my life for the past few months but I will get into something that I think everyone of us should do every now and then… TAKING STOCK. A brilliant idea I got from this amazing woman who I am currently obsessed with… @ThisIsEss. You can check how she takes stock here. It’s an amazing way of taking a step back and checking into your life. Finding out what YOU are upto in your own life. I’m going to try it this one time, see if it inspires future stock taking:)
Making: Plans for my next project, Stationery design!
Cooking: Well I’m not cooking right now, but I did a few days ago! Made spaghetti bolognese and it was bellisimo:)
Drinking: Nescafe’s ready made cappuccino! Seriously obsessed with this yummy, creamy, frothy creation. And sadly they can only be found in South Africa:( Need to find someone heading out there to replenish my depleting stash. Anyone?
Reading: Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri. Book review up next week on Typewriter Tuesdays! Been taking too long with this book though, need to make more reading time in my day to day schedule.
Wanting: Pencil Skirts and time to travel. I want to upgrade my work wardrobe and pencil skirts are the one thing I seem to be lacking so a shopping date is way overdue. Also, the travel bug is quickly catching up with me. Never been one to sit put for more than 6 months, even 3 so this is some kind of record! but no worries, a short summer trip is in the works soon, I just need July to get here already.. #Travelover:) I also want Tina Fey’s book, Bossy Pants. Just putting it out there.
Looking: Outside and wondering if the rain is going to mess up yet another gorgeous Friday. I hate rain. Think I’ve mentioned that several times on this blog
Playing: Words with Friends (yes I still play that game!) with @duttydex🙂
Wasting: A lot of money on my foodie tendencies. Disciplining myself this month though, only eating out once a week-sunday-cheat day:)
Sewing: Nothing, haha. Haven’t sewn anything for a minute now, I should try get back to that. Could end up being some long lost talent lol
Wishing: Emotions weren’t so hard to deal with. Been so stressed over the past month over the tiniest of things and don’t know if that’s the hormornes talking or I’m just weirdly emotional this season. Either way I wish it would stop, the headaches, the stress eating, and the overthinking… Just. Needs. To. Stop.
Enjoying: The bonding time I get with my brothers. It’s been long overdue and my favorite time of the day is when I come home to them. We just laugh a lot and laughter is very very good for the soul:)
Waiting: For @wild_succulent to get out of class so we can finally get some bestie time in! Also waiting for season 2 of An African City-best web series out there, watch it!
Liking: John Legend’s new album. Never ever thought I would get into John Legend like that but a friend of mine left his album in my car and I decided to have a listen… and WOW. I now love me some John Legend! Also Coldplay’s album is superb as well, my favourite track being “Magic”, makes me too happy:)
Wondering: Whether I should cut my hair or not. For those of you who have seen my hair, please comment on this random thought, lol
Loving: My godson Jeremy more and more everyday. He is the bees knees guys, as in just look at that face!
Hoping: To be blessed with a new job soon and one that I will love and not want to leave. Pray for me guys, this search has been quite the struggle!
Marvelling: At how well I can drive now, a year ago this time I could never drive alone but now I’m more confident than ever and driving (when there’s no annoying traffic) is therapeutic to me:)
Needing: A better relationship with myself and with God. It’s been on the rocks for a while now. Maybe that’s what is causing all the stress in my life… And I also need a pedicure, like asap.
Smelling: Nothing in particular right now but in my head, the Mocha frappe I’m about to have at Big Square at lunch today!
Wearing: Grey capris and a black jumper- its casual friday:)
Following: @Ma3route. This account saved me yesterday from the horror that was the traffic in Nairobi last night thanks to the rain. Started following them yesterday evening and saw all the roadblocks and jams on their TL and sat my pretty self at @IamSteffy’s house till 11pm when there were no more traffic tweets meaning no more traffic:) This whole week has been a whole mess commuting thanks to traffic, so wasn’t about to spend another 3 hrs, and fuel yesterday so thank you @Ma3route!
Noticing: That I seem to not care for much anymore like I used to. Also noticing my crazy weight gain.. #teamskinny needs to get back on my vision board because #Thingsarethickest! Pun intended lol
Knowing: That I am not doing the most that I can do and it’s scaring me. Need to stop being too complacent.
Thinking: Thinking about what I’ll do this weekend despite the weather. I need to get out more. Also thinking about a certain someone… Don’t really know why. These emotions be messing with my head guys!
Feeling: 50/50. Half happy/content and half sad/depressed. I’m weird.
Bookmarking: designboom.com. Really loving this site!
Opening: My planner. Need to write today’s to-do list
Giggling: At Tre Melvin’s youtube videos!! @IamSteffy thanks for that marathon we had yesterday, I’m watching them again haha…
Feeling: Incomplete. Something needs to be done about that.
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CRUNCH TIME

“Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass,
it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene

Let me just summarize the past few weeks to explain my random absence. Projects, Shopping, Work, Projects, Papers, Projects. See how projects come up more than anything else?? Yeah.. PROJECTS. Hours upon hours upon hours, of manual labor spent in a lab, plus work, plus all the other classes I STILL have to attend and TRY and do well in… and the occasional rampant shopping trips we have been taking of late.. #Fifi WE NEED TO STOP. Sadly, we have one more trip to the fashion district this coming weekend, lol… LAST ONE I PROMISE! I blame fatigue for my brokeness, fatigue from the monotony of school is making me crave the outside world, the beach, the malls… aahhh.. the goodlife:) It won’t last long though coz it is now that dreaded time in any college students life… CRUNCH TIME.

I have less than a month to complete 4 final projects, 1 term paper, study and ace ALL my finals register for senior year and secure an internship at the same time. It is that time of the year when there never seems to be enough hours in a day, and the nights seem to NEVER END. That time of the year when sleep becomes a necessity rather than a luxury, heck Im lucky if I get even 5 hrs in… *working off of 3hrs of sleep right now* I now take naps as opposed to a good nights sleep. lack of sleep=stress=indulging=weight gain. And we can’t have that now can we? lol.. cc @seipan #inpursuitofskinniness:) So working on my schedule to allow me atleast 4hrs, if not 6 of sleep everyday to avoid killing anyone.

Anyway, aside form my boring RIDICULOUS school life? How are all of you faring on? hope much better than me. Decided to post something up before even the blogger people decide Im slacking too much and take my site down, lol.. The Mr had his birthday last week on 4/20.. yep kudos to him right? lol, suffice it to say, he cannot remember half of what happened on that day. Happy belated love:)

It has come to my attention that I have become quite the narcissistic/negative person and apparently I wasn’t like that before?? I have no idea where this came from all of a sudden but it bugs me. It bugs me a lot. But I will not dwell on that anymore here. One question though… friends are meant to see through your flaws yes? accept you for who u are and all that ish?? Please note I have deleted the sentence that was to be here 7 times. I can’t write anymore.

And because my emotions are taking over me today, I am going to stop before I say anything else. Heading out tonight, I have never gone out on sunday(school night) ever. This shows you how stressed I am lol… I just need a pick-me up and some good dancehall vibes are just the thing for that. Enjoy ur sunday dears, this may be my last post in a while, coz you know.. school and stuff, but then again maybe not.. may be inspired mid-crunchtime and bust out an entire essay-like post. Operative word being MAYBE.

Of sun, sand and Midterms…

Junior year… The deciding factor in college, the in-between, the one year that you know you must succeed in to have a whole senior year of just chilling and doing random classes. This is that year and of late, I’ve not been into it as much. I thought a whole 3 months away from school and this sorry excuse for a city would help me get back on track once I got back seeing as my sophomore year was nothing short of a disaster. But no… I’m back in orange, back in Chapman, doing the major that I want FINALLY (thank you mum) but still somehow still feeling trapped in a world I don’t belong. So because of all these emotions bottling up inside, I decided to take a break and get away from it all. This decision comes after I was already 2 weeks late in reporting back to school so technically I have only been here close to a month and I’m already fed up?? Clearly school is not meant for me, lol. My roomie Fifi wanted out too and we decided to take a day out to go to the beach finally. I wanted to swim and she wanted to lay in the sun, doing that in school would just raise unwanted stares that I can’t stand so to Santa Monica we went.

Unfortunately the weekend we decided to go was the weekend right before those bloody things we call midterms. I personally don’t think anyone can study at the beach, but Fi insisted we carry our books and get some studying done. In the end it ended up being her studying the entire time we were there and me laying in the sun enjoying time alone with my thoughts for once. I like how I was not worried at all about studying even though I now have back to back exams this week plus a job to do and another job to find and a thanksgiving ticket to buy… #Priorities #Priorities… Of all the time I have been in California, the places I love the best are Venice beach, downtown L.A, West Hollywood and South Coast Plaza. When I finally get to go to San Fran, I’m sure it will make the list too. I have never been to Santa Monica beach and mainly its because anytime we decide its beach day we always end up in Venice beach-awesomest place ever!

Now one of the many downsides of Cali is their ridiculous transport system. I mean, come on… how can you build a subway system that ONLY serves the city of Los Angeles??? What about the rest of us in outer L.A where everyone and their mother has a Ferrari, Lexus or BMW M6? And the rest of has who don’t even have a bus system to rely on… why?? because of the aforementioned people and their cars. Anyway, because of the crappy transport, it took us almost 3hours just to get to a place that is almost 50minutes away with no traffic. We had to take a train to LA, then a bus that seemed to go on forever with 50 million stops and a bus driver who clearly was new on the job coz the number of times we had to stop to get the bus checked…? wth?? I miss city life people. Take me to New York where I can get from point A to B in less then 20min and most importantly NO TRAFFIC. Anyway that’s not what I wanted to talk about, I just randomly vent sometimes… My boyfriend tells me its my one flaw, lol… Yes, I complain a lot, what else is new, lol…

So back to the beach! We finally got there and all was well with the world again:-) I may be a city girl by nature but the ocean is where my heart is. I love being at the beach, near the ocean listening to the waves, thinking and thinking some more and just enjoying the peace and serenity it brings… really not a fan of the icky seaweed though. If it wasn’t such hassle getting there I think I’d spend every weekend I had at the beach.. but not in November, or December, or January.. rain,and the cold.. not my cup of tea at all,lol I’m sure you have all realized how Iv not even mentioned anything about me even opening a book,lol… Yes @TheBabyNat you were right.. studying at the beach is a definite no no. Got a lot of stuff in my head sorted out though. I have one more year before I graduate God-willing. What I’m going to do after that is the million dollar question. It haunts me everyday and that answer seems like it doesn’t wanna be found. What to do? I may be in school, doing all this work, or atleast trying to,lol.. but for what? What benefit will I gain besides the knowledge? Considering the crumbling global economy, I don’t know if I’ll make it out there in the real world. I want to be in it so badly but truth is.. will I survive?

Those are some things that plague my mind all the time and whether I should have those cookies after dinner,lol.. what?? they’re chocolate chip and VERY MOIST! No Judging lol. I have nothing else to add, just wanted to share my beach experience because it has been a really long while since I was near the ocean. Give or take 4 years,lol.. It’s a new month, a new week, and a new day. Do all you can today, this week, this month… and you won’t regret it.

D.od